? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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