Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
