worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize