Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
