Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
