so that wasnt chicken after all
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize