Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
