She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize