he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
