Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
