i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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