I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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