You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
