I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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