Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
