Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
