idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
