Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
