i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
