he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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