How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
