nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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