Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
