my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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