somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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