maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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