i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
