Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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