Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
