every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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