Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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