It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
