You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
