Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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