And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
