if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
only you would photoshop your dick
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
