do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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