Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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