we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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