i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize