dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
FUCK WHALES
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
