his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
