Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
