I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he fucked my hip out of place.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
