There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
