I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
