So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
