i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
