New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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