C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
