i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
