I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
