Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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