D3 body, D1 cock
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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