toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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