i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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