Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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